Everyone gets a trophy…until they don’t. The exhaustive debate seems to have died down as early sports specialization feeds the need to differentiate and rank youth athletic talent. Through age 9, internal or intrinsic motivation is not developed. Most kids’ motivation derives from external / extrinsic feedback, i.e. praise, winning, and, of course, trophies. Also, spending time with friends, and receiving family attention and interest drive motivation. In the meantime, helicopter gone bulldozing parents, in the vein of knowing what’s in their child’s best interest, find ways to get their kids on the “right team,” get out of turning in homework when travel sports create demanding schedules, “talking” to the coaches, enabling selfish behavior by taking care of chores, etc. These actions essentially formalize a player’s belief they deserve the trophy unconditionally. The unintended consequence is all this guiding and interference dulls a growing athlete’s ability to cultivate their intangible tools, their mental skills, e.g. overcoming adversity, being accountable, being coachable, and energy management.
The steady rise of athletes with mental health diagnosis, i.e. anxiety disorders and depression, though not personality disorders, should not be surprising. Generation Z athletes are not given the repetitions to build their resilience, and teams are slow to recognize that mental skills are a necessity, not a nice to have. This isn’t a reprimand to parents, as I am a parent of two, and the instinct to help is partly driven by what I was notprovided by my parents, and for others behavior is influenced by a positive or negative reflection of their upbringing. Parental interpretations and management of a child’s drive and passion are often projections of parent’s past, though different environments and circumstances should scream “it’s not the same!” Parents read books on grit and growth mindset, but can we reserve our bias and are we disciplined enough to learn a new communication style that may be outside our comfort zone? The point is, when parents assume control, and turn helicoptering into bulldozing, for better or worse, many athletes’ aren’t prepared for when talent isn’t enough.
Social psychologist Jonathan Haidt and first amendment expert Greg Lukianoff recently published a book titled “The Codling of the American Mind.” The book navigates through the negative impact on college students’ resiliency due to political polarization disruption of tolerance combined with parental over-supervision. An extension I’m adding is to sports. Athletes are moving from high school to college, no longer the best player, smartest in the classroom, and no longer with mom and/or dad there to insulate their world, validating an anxious response to internal or external stimuli. When an athlete rationalizes previous hurdles until college, they instinctively feel nothing is in their control. Handling pressure, controlling anxiety, being coachable are underdeveloped pathways effecting assimilation into a new environment (including socialization and inevitably athletic performance). Once performance declines, a sense of identity is jeopardized.
Que the Wall Street Journal’s article on collegiate athletic departments and teams hiring sport psychologist. On the one hand, the buy-in and support for these young student-athletes is awesome. On the other hand, the reasons for the hires make me wonder how and if this new trend addresses the source or the why. Would it not be better to avoid the stigma associated with symptoms of depression, anxiety, and over diagnosing “general” disorders and instead mandate mental skills training? Keep the sport psychologist as a deeper layer, but first integrate mental skills as part of the training program. We exercise our muscles, so why not exercise our mental muscles, right? For example, high schools and colleges could mandate freshman mental skills programs, for players and parents (for high school). Transitioning to high school, and more importantly college includes managing time, finding meals, social temptations and other unrelated challenges independent of the athletic commitment. Teams who dedicate a portion of their weekly schedule towards developing athletes’ mental game truly differentiate their program, and best demonstrate how sport participation prepares one for the “real world.” These offerings could be online or in person. However, parents, players, and coaches are now aligned on how to develop athletes into better humans (including outside of their athletic endeavors), and done so with the culture and framework intrinsic to the school and program’s core values. The integration also reduces the stigma of looking weak or vulnerable. Let’s not wait for a problem or an issue to arise or grow. Sticking a sport psychologist in the back of the athletic trainers’ room waiting for a player to come in and receive a tune up, effectively places pressure on an athlete already dealing with difficult thoughts and feelings. Providing resources prior to and in defense of the onset of anxiety and mood disequilibrium is why professional sports teams are hiring mental skills coaches. My own experience with the NY Mets proved to me the best way to approach the environment is to normalize the role. I was in the clubhouse, included in staff meetings, and treated as a coach. The coaches were inclusive and I was able to authentically interact with player’s in a non-judgmental, what’s-wrong-with-you vibe. I also built relationships with coordinators, coaches, athletic trainers, strength and conditioning coaches, demonstrating to players the integrating and comprehensive support team available to them. While pro sports continue refining mental skills best practices, college and high school programs would receive more value and performance consistency through developing a mental skills role that’s part of the day to day.